Flow with the River

11-5-13
And kid, you’ve got to love yourself. You’ve got to wake up at four in the morning, brew black coffee, and stare at the birds drowning in the darkness of the dawn. You’ve got to sit next to the man at the train station who’s reading your favorite book and start a conversation. You’ve got to come home after a bad day and burn your skin from a shower. Then you’ve got to wash all your sheets until they smell of lemon detergent you bought for four dollars at the local grocery store. You’ve got to stop taking everything so goddam personally. You are not the moon kissing the black sky. You’ve got to compliment someones crooked brows at an art fair and tell them that their eyes remind you of green swimming pools in mid July. You’ve got to stop letting yourself get upset about things that won’t matter in two years. Sleep in on Saturday mornings and wake yourself up early on Sunday. You’ve got to stop worrying about what you’re going to tell her when she finds out. You’ve got to stop over thinking why he stopped caring about you over six months ago. You’ve got to stop asking everyone for their opinions. Fuck it. Love yourself, kiddo. You’ve got to love yourself.
I’ve noticed I take life too seriously. Unnecessarily seriously. I question every motive of mine and everyone around me. I question every emotion that flows through me. I question everything. Over-think everything. I wouldn’t say that I need to stop questioning, but sometimes it’s fine to simply live life and feel sad when I need to feel sad, feel happy when I feel happy, content when I am content, and not question it. I don’t need to question my presence, because like every entity, existing is already a purpose. Living life, flowing with the river – that’s all I need to do.
Sometimes we look back at our lives and not fully understand what we’ve done; lived through, and we may think we could have done more, but that’s not it. That’s not it at all. Every moment we live, we create this infinite reaction that affects everything and everyone, which we cannot see or even comprehend. So don’t question it. Live and enjoy the little things in life, and if you want, strive for big changes, but if you can’t, don’t worry about it. Flow with the river.
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