A New Relationship

 

Photo Credit: http://laura-makabresku.deviantart.com/art/Long-evenings-in-my-room-332218035

My Past Relationships:

  • I’ve never been in a real relationship,
    and I would say it’s because I don’t really know how to approach a
    relationship. I wouldn’t state initially what I honestly wanted; I would hope
    that a real relationship would form. Well, that failed. I ended up with men who
    didn’t respect me and solely wanted me for a sexual relationship. I ended
    those.

The guy I met…online:

  • So, I met this guy online. I’ll refer to him as B. Not a
    traditional meeting spot, but hey, I’m not entirely doing things which I can
    have the opportunity to meet new individuals. I know this is something I need
    to work on, but I was tired of waiting for me to take action in that aspect. Surprisingly he is not a complete weirdo haha. He’s weird, but so am I. But, thankfully, or so I think, he isn’t a psycho waiting to kill me. B
    is a decent guy and like me, he does not hold traditional values. He is
    attractive and goes with the flow of life, which I find both frightening and
    admirable. Frightening because I’m a planner and I always need plans to fall
    back to, and admirable because I wish I was more like that.

The Relationship we
are beginning and our basis:

  • What I really like about B is that he seems to be honest. I
    say seem because I have a problem with trusting people. But, yes – he tells the
    whole truth and does not censor what he thinks. I think it is necessary to be
    able to communicate with your significant other in order that both parties are
    understood and can benefit from the relationship. I also like that he
    appreciates the things I do. For instance, I constantly ask him if what I want
    to do is alright with him ( I don’t want to force him to do things he doesn’t
    want to do), and in response he’ll tell me that he doesn’t do things he doesn’t
    want to do and that he likes that I’m considerate. It’s an actual effort on my
    part – I always have to remind myself to think of the other individual.  So, I think so far we have a good basis to
    build off.

The Relationship I
want:

  • “Relationships are often sought to subconsciously complement
    our deepest essence. Our significant other, friend or lover, become mirrors of
    our own selves, which reflect our unexpressed qualities that are within us, but
    we need to reclaim as our own.” (Complete Idiot’s Guide to Alchemy) So, I’m looking for someone who I aspire to be –
    someone who can teach me to be more of how I really am. Of course, this can be
    learned on my own, but because I know that I’m not close to achieving that, it
    would be nice for that extra help.

What I’m worried
about:

  • I’m not sure if we are entirely compatible. I think
    friendships can exist even if there are major differences between the parties,
    but I often find that I drift away from those I’m not compatible with. I think
    we are not compatible because he seems to be ascetic in the way that life must
    only exist on the plane of spirituality, but I’m all about balance. That life
    is spiritual and physical. I think that is one of the main differences between
    us; there are plenty of smaller differences, and although they may not seem
    like an issue – they tend to boil up to become one.
  • I also don’t aspire to be anything like him, so I think that
    is the other major issue. I think even if we weren’t compatible it would be
    alright as long as I aspired to be like him.
  • One last worry, that really isn’t important, but a wishful
    desire: I am a hopeless romantic, and as much as I don’t ascribe to traditional
    gender roles or traditional relationships – I hope to see that he will have a
    few romantic surprises for me. Of course, I would do the same for him.

What I’m going to do:

  • I respect him as an individual and I’m willing to move
    forward in this relationship – to become his friend, but I can’t imagine that
    this relationship would last very long. But, I want to be able to learn from as
    many people as I can and evolve. The only way I can do that is involve myself with
    others and create new experiences. Who knows what will happen…. I also think that it would be silly of me not to move
    forward because no one is perfect and to find someone who is the “ideal” person
    for me is unrealistic. To love others is to learn and accept others as they are
    – to grow with them, and I’m willing to do that.
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