Before February 14, 2016, I’ve not once spent a Valentine’s with a date. It isn’t important to me that I do. I know that valentine’s day is simply a creation out of a capitalist nation, but either way I would like to note down my first valentine’s day with my boyfriend.
I wanted the *almost movie-styled dates, so I cut my hair, it was time for a new-do anyway, bought a dress, and baked cookies. Mind you, I’m terrible at baking and the cookies I made proved this as well. They were burnt and hard. Joe doesn’t eat trans fat, so I baked non-trans fat snicker doodle cookies; I also made my own icing.
I arrived at his house and we exchanged gifts. I already warned him that my cookies were not edible. He still ate them, and so did his son. In exchange for my burnt cookies, Joe gave me a special gift. It was from Lotions & Lace; something I had wanted for awhile; something we could both enjoy. 😉 After gifts, we went out to eat sushi. We split the bill. I rushed him to take photobooth pictures at the mall. It was a short day for us, but he had to get back to his son and I had already agreed to babysit. It wasn’t a problem with me because I knew I would see him the following day.
Although our date wasn’t over the top lovey-dovey, I had a wonderful time with Joe. The reason why is because we followed the tips I mention below.
Joe had told me that his Valentine’s day didn’t usually pan out the way he wanted it to. Something always would go awry. I had noted that when I was younger, my birthdays were always horrible, but that’s because I had wanted the day to go perfect and I wanted it to be all about me. I had these high expectations and they were never met, but once I realized that it is just an ordinary day where I could spend it with friends and family, I had beautiful birthdays. I believe the same applied to his Valentine’s days. So, below are a few tips to maximize special dates with your significant other; these can be Valentine’s dates, anniversary dates, or even birthdays.
How to Maximize Special Dates:
- Plan: Plan with your significant other what you’ll be doing. If you don’t and play it by ear, most likely you won’t be doing something you really enjoy. Learn to compromise. If your partner really would like a hike and a picnic and you would like to go dancing, go with your partner on that hike as long as you also go dancing on your next date.
- Communicate with your partner about gifts: Do you even want gifts? Or would you rather spend your money on doing things with each other? Is there a price range? If you are giving each other gifts, don’t expect something that you haven’t told your significant other that you wanted. For instance, I made sure to tell Joe, I’m not looking for diamonds or any jewelry nor teddy bears. I’m good with a box of chocolates. I also told him that I was just going to bake something. That way both of us knew what to expect and neither of us were waiting for a gift we wouldn’t get.
- Give: If you’re in a heterosexual relationship and you’re a woman, don’t just expect your significant other to buy you the gifts, buy him chocolates, even flowers, or buy the wine you’ll share, they’ll certainly love the gesture and the gift.
- Split half on date: The responsibility to pay for the date should never lie on one person. If you already have a system where one person pays for the date and you alternate, or one person pays for other expenses, then that’s great, but don’t expect one person to always pay.